It’s Day 836.

I’ve cried more times today than I can count. You’d think by now, I could go days without crying, but I can’t get over the guilt.
Shannon’s only complaint was a sore throat. Her fever wasn’t even scary.
I spent (wasted is a better word) most of my morning Googling flu information again today. The complex science of mutating viruses leaves me boggled. If I can’t make sense of it, how can I explain the importance of stopping the flu to others?
After more than two years, my husband Terry and I haven’t said the “D” word yet.
We say “she went to heaven.”
We say “she left.”
Although I have said, “she died” several times, we somehow can’t say the words “Shannon is d…”
No dreams of Shannon last night. I want to see you again so bad.
If I could just talk to her one last time. Tell her how sorry I am. Does she know? Can she see from heaven? I have mixed feelings about how things work up there, I just know they do.